Replies to tags:
Lin> LOL, next time, please tag in a language that can be understood ._.
Josephine> Oh haha, of course you do.. I want to go shopping too! But I got no money T.T And yes, no problem girl, am here for a purpose yknw (:
Sharm> Heh, I really hope so! We are gna have fun yea (: And haha, miss pea still sounds weird leh!
Yanyi> Haha it's okay, I knw you got stunned.
Lau> Haha yea, very dangerous, alot of cars coming at me lo ._. Yeah, thanks I will..
----
Okay, I don't actually hve much to blog about for today. Life's mundane again, it feels wrong not to be doing something relating to studies. No homework, no revision whatsoever, just feels wrong..
Ohwell. Went out for a walk today, nothing much, just to get out of the house abit.
Somehow, even though I have nothing to blog about. I have managed to stone here so long. And there's school tmr. School ._.
Haix. Back again..
& yes thanks, I'll just be myself.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR KAO CY! (:
Ended my post abruptly yesterday because I was falling asleep while posting. So I actually cut off many things I initially wanted to post. Shall make up for it in this one.
So, I have got a bunch of people to thank. For encouraging me on, cheering me up and things like that in the exam period. When I was highly irritable, there were still happy moments (:
Yanyi.
Ah okay. Thanks mao for manymany things! I'm sorry that I wasn't in a very good mood the day after exams, I knew it wasn't as fun as we had meant it to be. But still, thanks for being nice to me and tolerating my moodswings. And always going out with me, no matter what happens you're still very nice to me. Looking forward to 25th May! (:
Sharman.
Thanks for inviting me over to your house to mug for three days straight, and always listening to me when I wanted to vent my frustrations or emo over something stupid. And thanks for lending Patrick to me for venting as well, he's super funny and cute! Plus the changing pitch for songs was totally amusing. Haha, 25th shall be a great day (:
Jianlong.
Haha, I guess if I really want to list out everyth there is to thank you for, it will never end. Thanks for all the motivations, always listening to me grumble and tolerating my temper. I knw I have been difficult especially on you, but I hope things would be better now that MYEs are over. Though sometimes I knw you don't knw how to say things right, thanks for trying. And yes, all the chocolates and Stepsils (:
Taylin.
Rose, oh my Rose. Thanks for always cheering me up, even though you might not always understand why I'm upset. But still, thanks for being there all the same. Especially your letter, the graph and Mooie! :D Jack loves Rose too! I have such sweet juniors, don't I (:
Yijun.
Yes my other girlf, also, thanks for always listening and trying to help me every way you can for RVTT matters, or not. It's great to have you around to cheer me up. The studying sessions were not always productive but still fun all the same. Thanks for everyth my dear girlf (:
Alright, that's not alot of people, but it's important because those people really made my day(s). When I was feeling particularly down, and didn't talk much in school for the whole day, Taylin and Yijun still managed to cheer me up, especially with all the nonsense in my house, haha.
At least there are still some people who care if I'm gna live or die.
It really feels good to have such people around, whom I knw I can always rely upon and count on. Thank you my friends (:
----
Yes speaking of dying. I almost died today, again ._.
Was gna cross the road somewhere close to Plaza Sing. Waiting for the light to change to green. The I heard the sound signal for the green man, and so I walked on without looking.
Yanyi from behind kept calling and I heard cars horn. Blurred for a moment, I saw no one walking aongside me, and cars coming at me. I immediately turned and stepped back ino the safety of the pavement. Rather relieved I didn't stay stunned on the spot like how drama serials like to show.
I almost got banged down if my reflexes were that bit slower. And I scared Yanyi too. Sorry mao ><
----
Many things have happened and changed unknowingly, and even I can see the difference in attitude now. I used to be more accepting, I used to try my best to resolve any problems, I used to take into account the important things. But now, no longer.
I seem to no longer care about all the things that have changed, or rather I don't try to salvage anymore. Instead, I make it worse. I make myself feel worse, make others feel worse. I want to inflict as much hurt as I can on myself and others. Maybe this is a sign to see that I have already accepted the fact that this is the way things have become and will stay. Because everyth's changed, not the same anymore.
Maybe I am just being stubborn, because I refuse to let it go. I am just lamenting on the same things over and over, but doing that can change nothing. I just hope to every different person I try telling, there will be a reply that I wish to hear. Even though I cannot define what is it that I really want to hear, but I knw, I have not heard it.
It hurt me so much to see, for two straight days I see what I didn't want to. Of course I knw it doesn't mean anyth, but can you blame me? History students make links ._. For so long I tried, but I still failed, and now that I see things happening, I still feel nothing but hurt.
I really wished I could be blind. So that I can stop seeing, stop hurting. Or I could be deaf. Since I don't want to hear, don't want to hurt. If I am mute, then I'll not speak, and I'll not hurt. This is all too much for me to take.
I wished things could take a turn for the better, I don't knw how long more of this feeling can I continue to suppress. Too many times I questioned myself, but could never get an answer. At least, not one that I am happy with. How had things turned out this way.. The answer probably lies in you, and in me. But no, I can't explain what you can't explain.
It's just alarming, disappointing and even sad to see this happening to me. To see how time can make people change.
There are so many things I can't face, don't want to face. I can't accept, and refuse to. Sometimes friends are not enough, even though they are all I have, it's not enough. I want things to be right again, but I don't knw how. So I choose to remain inactive and wait for things to blow over, just that they never seem to.
'假如我_______, 现在我们会怎么样呢?'
我几乎每天都在想这个问题. 这个 '假设如果' 的问题每天都烦扰着我, 走路的时候也是, 吃饭的时候也是, 上课的时候睡觉的时候打球的时候洗澡的时候搭车的时候都是. 睁眼闭眼都是 '假设如果', 睁眼闭眼都是不可能发生的答案.
假设我不知道什么是假设, 那会怎么样?
It's too late to apologise, it's too late...
Haven't surfaced at my blog for 11 days, and now I'm back again because yes, MYEs are over. Shall update abit about how well (or otherwise) life's been. No, I'll not do a 11-days worth of backtracking. Who's interested, anyway? Exactly.
Replies to tags:
Josephine> Ohwell, you still came afterall, and got your free cone without having to queue. Thank me! LOL..
Yanyi> Haha, study break wasn't as bad as anticipated afterall, even though I might develop a phobia for too-quiet rooms ._.
Rena> Oh, hello. Er.. Thanks.
Lau> Oh haha, it's quite interesting right, and really helps!
OWL SUBJECT> Aww.. Wait for another year then. LOL!
Guokai> Ah okay, I have done that. Now shall await my judgement. Good luck!
Lin> LOLs, you and your crazy spammings again. Tsktsk.
Pearly> Hahaha, I didn't do it, I didn't do it! And yes Acer is not zero IQ, so you're not either! (like obviously) Ohwell.
Sylvia> Lols, actually I agree too. But quite bad uh. Later hurt his pride, LOL.
Huahua, Shaun, Lin, Jingzhan> Okay, HI YOU PEOPLE! Enouugh fun yet? Lols, thanks for making an attempt to keep my tagboard alive ._.
Xinyu & Sharm> Yes, in the process of doing so (:
----
Alright. The dreadful MYEs are finally over. My past week of studying have also ended, so have those early nights. And today, which is the day of our last paper, day of the end of MYEs, the day that is supposed to be great and fun. Today, was a bad day.
So much for nothing. Ohwell.
So today, emotional rollercoaster ride that seemed to go on and on. Was feeling rather terrible in the morning because I hadn't studied much for the last paper, not slept enough either. And then, Lin comes in and gives me a really pleasant surprise for the day (: 
A love letter and Moo-ie! :D
Yes, the cow which eyes pops when squeezed has been given a grand name of Moo-ie by Lin. But anyway, she is lending it to me for the weekends because Moo-ie has special powers to make me literally ROFL. Lol..
And the letter was super nice. But shall not post the contents, since it's a love letter from Rose to Jack :D Then there was another piece of graph paper in the envelope.
Name: Taylin (to) Sinyee
Subject: Maths - Philosophical Maths (didn't knw there was such a thing, LOL)
Scale
X-axis: 1cm to represent a day
Y-axis: 1cm to represent degree of happiness
X-axis: Day 1 to day 9
Y-axis: Very very emo to Lunatic already
Gradual Increase! :]
Then very happily went around distributing sec4 RVTT tees. It's finally here, another strike off my wishlist. But I very accidentally missed out Lin's order from the list, so she didn't get one ><
Front view: Close up on logo 
We call the shots, play it our way. 
Name on the sleeve :]
Then went back for morning assembly, of which Mr Tan assured me that I would pass physics. Good to knw for early morning. And then math paper 2 started.
That paper, wasn't difficult. But because I didn't really study for it, there are bound to be careless mistakes here and there. Just hope I don't fail, because Mr Liu said I did quite well for paper 1 :]
And went out with Yanyi! First took 175 from school to town. Was sitting in Far East plaza waiting for 11am to come so we could go eat KFC. Self-entertained like two crazy girls with no image. Hahaha.
After eating, went to shop around. But most shops were not open when it was already 12pm, and we got quite turned off. I suggested going to Heeren.
At the bus stop, was looking at the bus services that would take us to Heeren. And when we were going to board, I jumped down from the stone seat at the bus stop. When I landed, my bag strap snapped and broke.
Yes, that Zinc bag that lasted me for less than 3 months and I used it less than 20 times. And costed me 40 bucks. And the part that broke is gone so I can't superglue it back, not like it's of much help. The bag's beyond repair now. Zzz.. And instantly I became very depressed.
Walked around without particular interest. The Action City we wanted to go at Heeren was under renovation, so basically we went there for nothing. And then Yanyi led me into Paragon ._. Yea, for fun.
Just went into some of the sporting shops and then we decided to go into Toys 'R' Us. Had some fun self-entertaining there, with the Magic-8 ball of HSM. When we kept asking 'Will we do well for our MYEs?' and we kept getting negative answers like 'Ask again later', 'My sources say no', 'Stick to the status quo' (which is bad!) And we got quite pekcek and gave up ._.
Then went to the dolls section where there were alot of fake babies and started pressing all the 'Try me' buttons that we could find. Got some super scary, can blink and the lips move like a real kid doll there. Like chucky. Zzz..
Left the place feeling alot better. And sat down wanting to eat the Toblerone that Jianlong gave. And found it missing! Zzz.. And I got quite depressed again. Lol.. And after searching thoroughly through my bag to no avail, felt toally sian.
Continued on, Yan got me a plastic bag from World of Sports to contain my rather heavy bag. And we set out for Plaza Sing. Nothing special there, just that Yan ran after 2 ladies carrying bubble tea from Sweettalk and asking them where they bought it. Haha.. And happens that we walked past the place without realising it is Sweettalk. Ohwell.
Last stop for the day, Lot 1. Went around hunting for handphone accessory. I didn't manage to buy any, but Yan did. And walked around somemore, then took 172 back when I got a terrible headache and felt like dying.
Reached back home, told my mother about teachers' comments of my math and physics paper. And she totally refused to acknowledge my improvement. She was all 'This is only MYEs, it doesn't mean anyth.' Like crap. I got so pissed at her because all she ever cares about is my math, and now I tell her I did okay, she's still not satisfied.
That's just how parents are like, right? Tsk.
Sometimes she just don't understand. Improvements are possible with efforts and motivation. But she just refuse to acknowledge the fact that I am slowly improving. And I just felt so crushed. Well, if nothing can ever be good enough, I felt like my past week of continous studying was for nothing. Then, might as well haven't have bothered.
Went online. Haven't for so long, And I got a nice greeting gift from my brother, the MSN photo album virus. Auto-sends to all contacts, lags my comp. Irritating! Zzz.. Maybe this is telling me to go study for EOYs. Omg, crazy -.-
Random pictures: 
0105 Lin's Kung Fu Panda bag. 
0705 Sharman's house. Her Patrick which we secretly torture xD 
0705 Bus 243. Sharm caught emo-ing! =x
0805 My house. Masterpiece of Taylin and Yijun. Crazy people, tsktsk. 
0905 Bus 175. Moo-ie! :D
0905 Plaze sing Action City. Sadistic enough for me =x
Okay. Shall go sleep now!
I'm really not supposed to be here, but I've decided to take a break from all that history essay writing. My brain is so saturated with Cold War facts, I feel so sick of history now. Zzz..
So, was supposed to go to school on my own today, because my father could not drive me to school. So okay, I woke up on time, went out of house on time, caught the bus which came 5 minutes later than suppoosed to.. And I thought it was gna be a pretty good day.
And a bunch of __ed up retards had to come and spoil all of that.
I was just sitting at one end of the MRT seats, minding my own business when the MRT pulled into Lakeside and the bunch of __ed up retards boarded the train, of which all of them sat on the same row as I, except for two, who sat at the opposite row.
And before I knew what was happening, the whole row of guys shifted to their right and crushed me against the glass panel at the end of the row. And that retard sitting two seats away actually had the cheek to apologise when everyone knws they did it on purpose.
What? The whole damn carriage was staring at my row please. And I was feeling so pissed off I just glared at that __ed up reatard. Ruined my mood, at least all the way on 97 till I reached school.
Then normal lessons.. Spent CID clarifying doubts on Cold War with Ms Chia. Rest of the day went on as normal. After school let Mr Liu mark answers for revision worksheet 3 and was released from remedial..
Went to je Long John's to have lunch with Yanyi, Sharm, Kristie, Sylvia and Jieren. Spent alot of time after the meal talking about our childhood. Was pretty interesting though.
And left at 5+pm.
Study break starts tmr, but I'll be returning to school for the two days.
-Looks at Yanyi-
Ohwell, it should be fine. Guess we'll just have to spend our time productively for the next two days in school, not like we have much of a choice, anyway.
So yep, shall go sleep now alr.
B&J's free cone day tmr! :D
Just a random update.
Have been rather slack today, done jiantie, and a bit of history revision at the frontier library. Thought I would have some peace there, but saw quite a few people whom I knw. Yes, among which is Vincent and Jiachen. Ohwell.
Done another essay. Not alot. And went to check out comics connection. FMA #18 is already out, and I have not even bought #17! Haha, realised I've been dragging for so long. And now even #18 is out already. Seems that the story is picking up now. Swear I'll get it after MYEs :D
Okay nothing much for today. Found a nice surprise in my chocolate today:
A little heart at the bottom of my chocolate :D
And a little funny tip to remember the reactivity series:
The reactivity decreases down: P S C M A Z I L H C M S P
Pearly
Sits (with)
Chentao.
MJH,
Acer
Zero
IQ.
Lau,
Ho (Yanyi)
Can't
Make
Sharman
Pissed.
Just for Laughs, no offence meant! Adapted from Jianlong and Junbin. Lol.. Mean people. Tsktsk. Hahaha.
`5 to MYEs.
----
You won't knw how hard I tried.
Emotional rollercoaster. I don't get what I want. But I'm just going with the flow, I'll just wait and see. Because I simply do not feel like trying anymore, maybe there is no point, or maybe it's jsut too tiring.
It must feel great to really feel like there's nothing troubling you for a change. Somehow, something just has to screw up. And the best part is, there's nothing I can do about it.
I'm losing sense in what I'm trying to say. Ohwell..
G'night all.
I think I need to be alone for abit.
I am seriously in a very irritable mood these days. I am fine one second, and probably pissed the next. Every little thing people do or say can annoy me to the max. Basically I just get pissed or feel frustrated, over nothing. Ohwell.
I think I need to avoid human contact for awhile. Even though it's hardly possible. But it just seems like I need it to stop people irritating my unknowingly, resulting in me giving them my attitude. I need to stop it.
I don't enjoy flaring up at nothing, and bothering over things which are not important. There are even times I feel very vexed, at nothing at all. I feel bad for snapping at my friends or whatever I did, but I can't stop the feeling of annoyance.
So, sorry to people whom i haven''t been treating nicely to in these past few days. The exam stress is probably getting to me, or something. There's just so little time.
Just so much I can do to maintain my sanity.
It's only 8 days to MYEs. And considering the rate of my revision, this is very, very bad.
Don't feel like backtracking at all, though there are some interesting/funny things which happened between me and a few of 4H girls. For more information please visit Xinyu/L.sinyee/Chingxin's blog. LOL.
So today, was a pretty crap day. Started off with PE, which was still fine. Rather fun, in fact. Same group as last week without Jianlong the pro. Ms Loo transferred him away to another group, lol. But we still owned :D
Had history next. Forgot that there was history, since i lent all of my history materials to Josephine to refer and stuff. So I could only stare at my foolscap and try to catch what Ms Chia's saying. Got back chem test. Did fine, but my mother doesn't seem amused. Ohwell.
And the lessons went on and on. Got back math quiz 4. Miraculously didn't fail. But didn't do well at all as well. Still never mind. Probably the next time, I'll succeed, hopefully. Then the day went on with ICAS Science competition, which wasn't very difficult, but I couldn't concentrate on doing it since I was trying to win the battle against my fatigue. Lol.
The day went on somemore with physics remedial. Was rather pissed at Mr Tan for something, but never mind. The day finally ended, and went home. Took 97 with Yanyi and Kristie.
Came back home, did nothing but trying to reduce my piles of worksheets. Successfully filed the whole lot of them and now I have this big stack of subject files. Tsk.
Okay. Study date later (past 12mn) with Yanyi and Josephine. Die die must be productive man..
Been more temperamental than usual lately. Mood swings all time high -.- Get pissed at people very easily, especially some teachers who totally asked for it. Tsk. Was super irritated and pissed during house meeting because of all the screwed up arrangements.
I guess these are the pre-examinatuion stress syndromes. LOL. Like back in 2C, somehow people just get cranky when the exams are nearing. What to do? It's RV's MYE afterall. Haix, hopefully everyth would turn out right, and I'll make it matter.
My eyes are closing out on me. Time to catch some sleep before the study date.